100 Days of Poetry: Days 15-20

Meltdown

"F---!"
Over and over again until the urge subsides.
I wish I could conjure more vile words,
Something stronger,
More powerful,
Vile enough to chase the fury,
The fear.
This is not a new word,
Not rare enough to suit,
And my screaming merely leaves me hoarse,
Unsatiated,
Numb and without direction.
I fear
   routine that traps me
   a relationship slipping out of reach
   an eternity of sameness
   having nothing to hope for
   the inability to excel
   the trap of debt
   mediocrity
I fail even at rage.

Today Via the Senses

Chocolate chai to ease into the day

Hot enough to satisfy without scorching

Just enough cream to make the chocolate bloom

Spicy, smooth warmth in my throat

Hint of rose lingers in the office air

Sweetens an afternoon of budgeting

Suggests a promise of spring

Icy snow in chunks under my running shoes

Gray skies lift at the western edge

Golden ribbon just out of reach

Water streams over my face to strike my chest

Temperature just below the pain point

Burning away, just for a moment, the anxiety and discontent

Text chime

Happy grace note to end the day

Missionary photo warms this mother's heart

Life, Interrupted

We encountered a beautiful robin today

Or, rather, he encountered our window

Thunk

I thought perhaps a friend had tossed a snowball to catch our attention

Calling us out to play

But no snow sliding down the glass

Just a plump bird lying on the step

Almost lovely in repose

Neck at an odd angle

He was disoriented, I suppose

Thinking of home

Or marveling at the snowflakes

(A rare sight here)

And then, suddenly,

Thunk

And life abruptly halted

That is the death I would wish for

If I had a choice:

Flight, free and marvelous,

Interrupted without anticipation

Snow Day

Snow covers a multitude of sins
Flakes, fat and slow,
Blanket rust-cankered forms below
Snow covers a multitude of sins

Flakes, fat and slow,
Mute my delighted cries
Melt in my eyes
Flakes, fat and slow

Mute my delighted cries

As the world falls still
Hushed from house to hill
Mute, my delighted cries

As the world falls still
Blissful timing on an otherwise ordinary day
Magic hums, routines go astray
As the world falls still

Blissful timing on an otherwise ordinary day
Snow covers a multitude of sins
Discarded plans and unworthy might-have-beens
Blissful timing on an otherwise ordinary day

Snow covers a multitude of sins
Flakes, fat and slow,
Blanket rust-cankered forms below
Snow covers a multitude of sins

To Do List

• Buy milk (I know you aren't a fan, but you are aging, and your bones will thank you.)
• Take out the trash (Don't forget to toss those worries you stubbornly refuse to give up.)
• Call your mother (She still knows your voice, and that might not be the case next week.)
• Change the sheets (Nothing comforts like clean flannel on a cold night.)
• Mow the lawn (Just kidding! Try shoveling the driveway instead.)
• Go on a date (Seriously. Right now. You need it. He needs it. The rest of the list can wait.)

Toddler Dance

Hurtling through life
Hither and thither
A plethora of dreams spilling out of her pockets
Tumultuous hair flying
Eyes sparkling with jubilation
Naked arms flung with abandon
Fingers outstretched
Snatching the essence of joy
Whirling
Twirling
Spinning
Unwinding
Drowsy in an instant
Tumbling in a heap
Chubby hands curled beneath her cheek
Reposing on a jumble of scattered dreams
Grinning even in slumber